thelittledarkcat asked:

“You came.” Pike says - a bit surprised, as a pale slim figure takes the seat in front of him. The restaurant is crowded and Pike wishes he had picked another one because crowded doesn’t mean exactly pleasant for a touch telepath. “Indeed.” A familiar deep voice says and Pike’s painfully reminded how much he missed that voice, how much he missed Spock. (part1)

His Vulcan looks different though – still breathtakingly beautiful but under the many layers he wears (San Franciscos winters aren’t exactly Vulcan friendly), Pike can tell that he lost weight and there’s a strange tension he is carrying in his shoulders, a tension which wasn’t there before - before Pike fucked up their relationship oh so many months ago. “To be honest, Spock – I wasn’t completely sure you would.” “I am glad to hear that.” Pike looks at him quizzically and fights the urge to take one of that white, strangely delicate hands in his, fights the urge to kiss that plush lips. “I would hate to have become predictable.” (whole prompt)

- - -

Pike laughs, despite how serious the situation is.

“Oh Spock, you could never be predictable,” he chuckles softly. “That’s why I love you so much,” he adds, and immediately wishes he could take his words back.

Not because they’re false, nor because he doesn’t mean them; quite the opposite, in fact. He really loves Spock, and since that night, when he fucked up their relationship, he’s become to understand how deep that love runs. No, he means exactly what he just said.

But he fears it’s too early to say it out loud in front of Spock once again. Chris doesn’t want to pressure him, to coax him into their relationship once again if Spock’s not ready or, even worse, not sure he wants it anymore. He Vulcan should have all the time he needs to understand his own feelings, without Pike – of all people – pushing him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” he murmurs, sheepishly looking at the Vulcan on the other sde of the table.

Spock returns his gaze with a raised eyebrow and a quite confused – and a bit hurt, maybe – look on his face.

“You… do not mean it anymore?” he asks, and Chris be damned if what he detects isn’t a hint of disbelief and sadness in his voice.

“No, Spock, I mean it. Of course I mean it. Fuck, how could you ever think I don’t love you anymore?”

Spock looks away, and his answer – the fact that I wasn’t enough for you, the fact that you cheated on me – goes unsaid but is still perfectly, painfully clear, and Pike gulps. The sight of Spock’s eyes, the scars in them, scars he himself provoked, is almost too much to bear.

He takes all his courage and extends his hand over the table, taking one of Spock’s into his, not caring the least about the other people in the crowded room. Spock’s attention snaps back and focuses on him as soon as their skin makes contact. Pike can feel a park of electricity pass between them, and it’s one of the strangest sensation he’s ever felt. Spock doesn’t try to avoid the touch.

He clears his throat, and locks eyes with the Vulcan’s dark ones.

“I will always love you, Spock. I… I fucked up, and you can’t even begin to imagine how sorry I am because of it. I’m an idiot, and what I did is unforgivable, and even if I know it, here I am, asking for your forgiveness. It was my fault. All that happened, it was my fault, and I will always live with the remorse for what I did to you… to us… to our relationship. But believe me, darling, my feelings for you… they’ll never change, no matter what you think or how many other times I screw up. I love you, Spock”

Pike’s spoken with his heart in his hands, and it’s something he’d never done before, something he’s always believed to be a little pathetic, even – such declarations of love, he’d never thought much of them, they just seemed suitable for saccharine love stories in movies and nothing else. And still, here he is, sitting in a crowded restaurant declaring his love for a mate he will always be utterly and absolutely fond of, no matter what.

Spock’s eyes soften, something in his stiff posture changes, and his fingers – up to that moment limp in his hand – gently squeeze his own.

Pike decides to think that it’s a good sign.

___________

Cheating Pike, Part Three

thelittledarkcat asked:

“Spock. Come here.” Spock emerges from the bathroom in dark sweatpants and a grey long-sleeved shirt – already dressed for bed - and no shoes. He looks oddly vulnerable with his bare white feet. As he approaches the bed where the captain currently sits, Pike catches him by his wrist and draws him into his lap. The young Vulcan shifts uncomfortable in his hold but Pike doesn’t let him get up again. “Stay here with me. Just a minute. Okay…I…..just …stay here okay...? Okay?” part1

Spock looks at him - dark eyes unreadable. “I missed you. You know? And I neglected you and I should’ve been there for you..and I fucking shouldn’t have slept with…” Pike curses. “I’m such a fucking idiot…I hurt you and I’m…fuck…I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.” “I…I know you are, Christopher, but…it is going to take time…” “I know.” Pike whispers and presses a kiss on the inside of that bony wrist, he still holds. “Christopher…” Spock simply stares at him. “When did I forget what your hands feel like?” He looks up at his Vulcan. Spock swallows but says nothing. “What your lips feel like…” Pike kisses him. (whole prompt)

- - -

“Christopher, please, stop,” Spock tells him, firmly.

He raises his other hand to push Pike’s lips away from his wrist and looks at him in the eyes.

“I am not ready,” he simply states face stoic and so very unreadable.

Pike closes his eyes and mentally curses himself. Just a month ago, he could read his Vulcan li8ke an open book, deciphering his moods through that blank facade. But now… now he can’t do it anymore. His delicate features seem so foreign, so closed off.

How could he have been so stupid, he wonders. He ruined their relationship, and most of all he lost Spock’s trust in him. And Spock…

Spock isn’t the kind of guy who trusts others easily. It takes time, for him, to find the courage to have absolute faith in someone; it took him more than a years to trust Pike enough to just kiss him in a less innocent and more intimate way. Let alone everything else…

And Pike threw that all away. He threw that all away, because of a good fuck with some random woman whose face he can’t even remember.

He releases his hold on Spock’s wrist, but doesn’t let go of his waist. He feels like if he lets go of him completely, he will just lose him.

“I am such an idiot…” he murmurs, head bowed.

Looking into Spock’s eyes is too difficult, so he focuses on his own lap.

“I just wish you can forgive me…” he whispers, his eyes still not meeting the Vulcan’s.

That way, he misses the sad look in Spock’s eyes briefly replaced by a sparkle of deep love, which passes through them and disappears in a matter of mere seconds.

Spock isn’t ready to trust Pike, not right now. But, somehow, he illogically feels he will be able to do it, again, someday.

And, somehow, even if he’s not ready to show it, he still loves Christopher from the bottom of his heart. Spock just needs some time to understand it by himself.

_____

Cheating Pike, Part Two

thelittledarkcat asked:

Spock’s movements were always a pleasure to look at – graceful and fluid like a cat’s. However after Nero everything changed. The psychological trauma or whatever it was not only caused him to get absent very often, making him unaware of his environment, it also rendered his nervous system somewhat useless – his movements became slow and he couldn't feel much of anything. part1

So when one day, he was making tea and he spilled boiling water from the kettle onto his white hand – he barely noticed it. Not after Pike griped said hand, cursed, pulled Spock with him and forced it under ice-cold water. Spock only looked at him with empty eyes, shivering badly. Pike felt like crying.
- - -

Pike kept Spock’s hand under the cold water jet for some minutes, cooling the burned skin. He forced his mind not to panick, not to project his thoughts through the skin to skin contact - even though, lately, he’s not sure Spock can really feel and understand them.

"Does it hurt, sweetheart?" he asks Spock instead, voice somehow apparently calm.

The Vulcan simply glances at his arm, at the burned skin, face blank, and shrugs a little - which in itself is an unusual behavior, coming from Spock.

"No," he murmurs.

Lately, he can’t really feel anything clearly, and this worries Pike to no end. Not only he is concerned by his mental healt, there’s also the physical well-being which demands his attention. The Vulcan could hurt himself, and don’t even notice it. It’s very dangerous, and he doesn’t like thinking about it.

He pulls Spock’s wrist away from the cool water and presses a dry cloth on it, tenderly, softly, making sure not to hurt him in the process. The skin is cooler, now, and shivers are running down Spock’s arm, the Vulcan obviously doesn’t like the sensation of cold water touching his skin.

He takes a close look at the wound, then. The scalding is just a first degree burn, nothing too serious, fortunately. Pike lets out a shaky breath. He thinks he doesn’t even have to call Boyce for it, but still, he medicates the Vulcan as best as he can: he doesn’t want him to develope any kind of infection. His already weakened body couldn’t edure that.

Luckily, he doesn’t see any blister or laceration on the porcelain skin, so he makes Spock sit down on a chair and tells him to stay there and don’t touch his injured hand. The portion of burned skin is quite big, considering how slim the Vulcan’s wrists have become, and the angry green is becoming quite evident by now.

Pike goes to the bathroom and retrieves some sterile medical gauze, silently thanking Boyce for having forced him, years before, to keep a med-kit in the house as a precaution. He goes back to the Vulcan, and notices that he hasn’t moved the least bit. In a way, it is comforting; in another, it worries him even more, for Spock’s not the kind of guy who is easily convinced to do something without putting up a bit of a fight.

"Here we go, darling. I’ll bandage your hand, and then you’ll be all right," he tells the Vulcan, smiling reassuringly, but again he receives no answer from Spock.

The kid just keeps staring into his gray eyes, face unreadable and stoic as usual, like nothing happened. Pike lowers his gaze, focusing on the bandage and trying to keep his own tears at bay. Vulcan hands are very sensitive and very important for the telepathy. Even a small cut is something serious and the pain it causes is agonizing.

And here Spock is, his hand partly burnt, and he can’t even feel it. Pike makes a mental note to take a new appointment with Boyce, and maybe with a Vulcan healer, too. His lover clearly needs some help.

thelittledarkcat asked:

Pike betrayed Spock once. And never again. After another mission gone wrong, after more lost crew members to grief – Pike choose to cope with the only way he knew – to get drunk. So the next time on shore leave he got drunk in a shady bar. The night was a blur and he woke up to a dark-haired, pale partner which wasn’t Spock. (part1)

icedrifter answered:

 Surprisingly Spock wasn’t angry with him, Boyce was – he called Pike a fool and an idiot, yelled at him for driving the only good thing in his life away. Spock.. Spock wasn’t angry. Spock didn’t say anything. Spock remained silent. And somehow it was worse. Pike knew that Spock thought that it was his fault, that he wasn’t enough for Christopher. Which wasn’t true. Spock was everything. (whole prompt)

- -

The silence stretched for hours, days, then weeks. No matter how hard Pike tried to coax a response from Spock, the Vulcan never said a word.

He kept living in their shared quarters, and they kept eating their dinners together in the living area, but it just wasn’t the same. Sometimes, Pike got the distincr impression that they were never going to be the same again.

For a start, they never talked like they used to do – or at least, Spock never did.

Pike spoke about what had happened, begged forgiveness infinite times, gave the Vulcan small gifts, tried all the silly jokes he could think about to make him laugh and even cooked his favorite meal twice in a single week.

Spock never said anything. He just stared, face blank.

He would sit down at the table and chew on his food, without even really tasting it, eyes unfocused. He would slid under the blankets of their bed and turn his back to Chris, facing the wall in front of him, and wouldn’t kiss him goodnight anymore. He would still brush his teeth in the bathroom with the captain, but he wouldn’t mind him playfully stealing his toothpaste and shoo his hand away anymore.

He was unresponsive, and Pike was worried. For an angry Spock, a shouting Spock, an emotional Spock, he could bear him. An apathetical Spock – no, it was way worse.

Depressed, the captain thought one morning, almost three weeks after that night, watching him during breakfast, with those black hair and that porcelain skin, marked by dark bags under the gloomy, unseeing eyes.

The thought made him run to SickBay without even finishing his coffee, regardless of the fact that Boyce was so angry at him that they’d not talked since the morning when he awoke next to the dark-haired woman.

“Spock’s depressed,” he exclaimed as soon as he stepped into the doctor’s private office.

Boyce, who was reading some medical articles from his PADD, glanced up at him briefly.

“Well, what did you expect? You fucked up the most important relationship of the kid’s life ‘cause you can’t keep your dick in your pants,” he said, coldly.

“Listen Phil -”

“It’s Dr Boyce for you, from now on”

“Okay then, Dr Boyce, listen to me, dammit!” the man shouted. “I know I fucked up. I know I’m an idiot, I don’t need you to remind me of what I’ve done. Believe it or not, I’d erase that night if I could, I would never get drunk and sure as hell I wouldn’t cheat on Spock. I feel like shit for that”

“Good, ‘cause you are a piece of shit, Captain, let me tell you”

“But that’s not the point! The point is, Spock’s depressed; he’s, like, fading away from me, slipping through my fingers, and I don’t know how to stop him!” Chris said, voice cracking.

Boyce looked at him once again, but his sharp gaze was now a bit softer, his eyes sad instead of furious.

“You can’t stop him. The kid is… broken. He blames himself for what happened, thinks he wasn’t enough for you, and this is eating him up from the inside. No matter how hard you try, or how many times I tell him that it’s not his fault – yes, I’ve told him exactly that, more than once, and I did it ‘cause I wanna see him happy once again, mind me, not because of you – he still thinks he’s the one to blame,” the doctor explained.

Pike looked at him, disbelief clear on his face.

“How could it be his fault? I am the one who screwed up,” he murmured, and left the office without waiting for a response Boyce surely couldn’t give him.

geriatricfool:

Where can I find this, complete?

Hi :) I replied to this question here

geriatricfool reblogged your post and added:
Where can I find this, complete?
Hello! :)
This is the first in a series of prompts about Pike cheating on Spock, and the aftermath obviously, which the dear thelittledarkcat sent me. Her ideas are amazing, really!
I’m gonna upload the second and third part of this particular series today or tomorrow :) 
And, if you want to read other promptfills, always about ST characters, you can find them here (or otherwise, you can type “prompt” in the search bar on my blog’s home page)
Hope this can help you :)

thelittledarkcat asked:

When Spock was still a cadet and had classes which ended quite late and it was already dark outside, Pike would escort him to his dorm rooms until the young Vulcan was safely inside, only then he would go home himself. The captain didn’t like the idea of Spock wandering alone outside, vulnerable – even with his Vulcan strength – it was still possible he could get hurt. Humans could be cruel.

He had witnessed, more than once, other cadets not-so-casually pushing Spock in the corridors or avoiding him during the classes just to try - usually without success, though - to harass him in the campus.They were jealous, mostly.

The Vulcan was clever, his marks were the highest ever seen in the Academy, and he was the son of an Ambassador, a celebrity in his own way - the first Vulcan-Human hybrid ever born. Girls seemed to like him a lot, too. Other students clearly liked to pick up on him.

That’s why Pike never left him alone, at night. It was dangerous, too much for his own liking.

To be fair, Spock didn’t need his - not any other instructor, for that matter - protection: the Vulcan was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, thanks to years spent on his home planet trying to avoid the bullies, who clearly are an universal constant.

Never the less, the idea of him walking through the almost desert streets and alleys between the dorms, made Pike’s skin crawl. What if other cadets decided to play him a bad joke, what if they hurt him intentionally? The man couldn’t help but keep thinking about it every single time. He’d seen many bad things happening over the years, and couldn’t bear the idea of any of that happening to that Vulcan he cared so much for.

So, despite the cadet’s protests, he always accompained him to his dorm room, making sure he arrived there safely.

There was something else, though, that made Pike want to accompany him, other than his safety. It was a selfish reason, really, and Pike would never admit it out loud, but he’d grown to really enjoy the short walk with Spock, alone in the dark.

They almost never talked, but it just made the walk a bit more intimate in Pike’s opinion. The fact that, sometimes, their shoulders would brush, hands lightly touching each other’s, the fact that Spock not once tried to avid said casual touches, made it all so very precious, so endearing, that Pike began to look forward to those late nights more and more often.

thelittledarkcat asked:

Pike betrayed Spock once. And never again. After another mission gone wrong, after more lost crew members to grief – Pike choose to cope with the only way he knew – to get drunk. So the next time on shore leave he got drunk in a shady bar. The night was a blur and he woke up to a dark-haired, pale partner which wasn’t Spock. (part1)

 Surprisingly Spock wasn’t angry with him, Boyce was – he called Pike a fool and an idiot, yelled at him for driving the only good thing in his life away. Spock.. Spock wasn’t angry. Spock didn’t say anything. Spock remained silent. And somehow it was worse. Pike knew that Spock thought that it was his fault, that he wasn’t enough for Christopher. Which wasn’t true. Spock was everything. (whole prompt)

- -

The silence stretched for hours, days, then weeks. No matter how hard Pike tried to coax a response from Spock, the Vulcan never said a word.

He kept living in their shared quarters, and they kept eating their dinners together in the living area, but it just wasn’t the same. Sometimes, Pike got the distincr impression that they were never going to be the same again.

For a start, they never talked like they used to do – or at least, Spock never did.

Pike spoke about what had happened, begged forgiveness infinite times, gave the Vulcan small gifts, tried all the silly jokes he could think about to make him laugh and even cooked his favorite meal twice in a single week.

Spock never said anything. He just stared, face blank.

He would sit down at the table and chew on his food, without even really tasting it, eyes unfocused. He would slid under the blankets of their bed and turn his back to Chris, facing the wall in front of him, and wouldn’t kiss him goodnight anymore. He would still brush his teeth in the bathroom with the captain, but he wouldn’t mind him playfully stealing his toothpaste and shoo his hand away anymore.

He was unresponsive, and Pike was worried. For an angry Spock, a shouting Spock, an emotional Spock, he could bear him. An apathetical Spock – no, it was way worse.

Depressed, the captain thought one morning, almost three weeks after that night, watching him during breakfast, with those black hair and that porcelain skin, marked by dark bags under the gloomy, unseeing eyes.

The thought made him run to SickBay without even finishing his coffee, regardless of the fact that Boyce was so angry at him that they’d not talked since the morning when he awoke next to the dark-haired woman.

“Spock’s depressed,” he exclaimed as soon as he stepped into the doctor’s private office.

Boyce, who was reading some medical articles from his PADD, glanced up at him briefly.

“Well, what did you expect? You fucked up the most important relationship of the kid’s life ‘cause you can’t keep your dick in your pants,” he said, coldly.

“Listen Phil -”

“It’s Dr Boyce for you, from now on”

“Okay then, Dr Boyce, listen to me, dammit!” the man shouted. “I know I fucked up. I know I’m an idiot, I don’t need you to remind me of what I’ve done. Believe it or not, I’d erase that night if I could, I would never get drunk and sure as hell I wouldn’t cheat on Spock. I feel like shit for that”

“Good, ‘cause you are a piece of shit, Captain, let me tell you”

“But that’s not the point! The point is, Spock’s depressed; he’s, like, fading away from me, slipping through my fingers, and I don’t know how to stop him!” Chris said, voice cracking.

Boyce looked at him once again, but his sharp gaze was now a bit softer, his eyes sad instead of furious.

“You can’t stop him. The kid is… broken. He blames himself for what happened, thinks he wasn’t enough for you, and this is eating him up from the inside. No matter how hard you try, or how many times I tell him that it’s not his fault – yes, I’ve told him exactly that, more than once, and I did it ‘cause I wanna see him happy once again, mind me, not because of you – he still thinks he’s the one to blame,” the doctor explained.

Pike looked at him, disbelief clear on his face.

“How could it be his fault? I am the one who screwed up,” he murmured, and left the office without waiting for a response Boyce surely couldn’t give him.

______________

Cheating Pike, Part One